Unmasking Legal Abuse: The Weaponisation of the Legal System
Quick Guide: Legal abuse occurs when someone manipulates the legal system to control, intimidate, or harm their victim. If you're experiencing repeated court filings, deliberate delays, or custody manipulation from an ex-partner, you may be facing legal abuse, not just a “high conflict divorce”.
Table of Contents
What is Legal Abuse?
When we think of domestic violence, physical harm often comes to mind first. However, abuse takes many forms, including the manipulation of legal systems as a weapon.
Legal abuse happens when someone takes advantage of the legal system to manipulate, control, or intimidate another person. This typically emerges during:
Divorce proceedings
Child custody disputes
Restraining order requests
Other legal actions
The primary goal isn't to win a case; rather, the abuser aims to overwhelm, instil fear, or financially drain the victim through a series of legal tactics.
As a therapist, I've seen countless women navigating bewildering and distressing experiences while dealing with courts, often forced to engage with their abuser for years after leaving the relationship.
Examples of Legal Abuse
Legal abusers use specific tactics to maintain control:
Tactics, how they work and their impact on victims.
Why Legal Abuse is So Damaging
Legal abuse is particularly harmful because:
It prevents escape - While victims may physically leave, legal abuse forces ongoing interaction
It's financially draining - Court costs, lawyer fees, and time off work create economic hardship
It causes re-traumatization - Each court appearance can trigger PTSD symptoms
It feels endless - Cases can drag on for years with no resolution in sight
It betrays trust in systems - When courts fail to recognise abuse, victims feel unprotected
For many survivors, engaging with the legal system is a necessary step in their healing journey. When the abuser uses the system as a tool against them, the level of betrayal can run very deep.
What Can You Do?
Take These 5 Key Steps:
Document everything
Record all interactions with your abuser
Save all legal filings and communications
Track financial information related to the case
Find specialised legal help
Seek lawyers experienced with domestic violence
Connect with domestic violence organisations that offer legal aid
Research your state's laws about legal harassment
Use legal protections
Request protective orders that include legal harassment provisions
Ask the court to sanction frivolous filings
Consider filing for contempt when appropriate
Protect your emotional health
Work with a therapist who understands domestic violence
Join support groups to connect with others experiencing similar situations
Develop coping strategies for court appearances
Remember that this is not your fault
Legal abuse is a continuation of control, not a reflection of you
You deserve support and protection
Are You Experiencing Legal Abuse? A Self-Assessment
This quick assessment can help you determine if what you're experiencing might be legal abuse. Answer "Yes" or "No" to the following questions, thinking about your current legal interactions with your ex-partner or someone else who has been abusive toward you.
Court Proceedings and Legal Actions
Does your ex-partner repeatedly file court motions or legal complaints that seem unnecessary or baseless?
Do they frequently request changes to custody arrangements without significant changes in circumstances?
Have they filed multiple complaints against professionals involved in your case (lawyers, judges, evaluators)?
Do they frequently request continuances or delays for court hearings?
Have they violated court orders but faced few or no consequences?
Financial and Document Manipulation
Do they frequently dispute financial obligations like child support or alimony?
Have they hidden assets or misrepresented their income during legal proceedings?
Have you experienced unusually high legal costs due to their actions?
Have they ever destroyed or withheld important documents related to your case?
Have they forced you to spend money on legal fees you can't afford?
Control and Intimidation
Do they represent themselves in court (pro se) in order to directly question or confront you?
Do they use the threat of legal action to control your behaviour or decisions?
Do they frequently threaten to take you back to court?
Have they filed for emergency hearings without true emergencies?
Do they seem more focused on "winning" against you than on the best interests of any children involved?
Impact on Your Wellbeing
Do you feel anxiety, fear, or dread when receiving legal documents or notifications?
Have the ongoing legal proceedings significantly disrupted your ability to move forward with your life?
Do you feel the legal system is being used to maintain contact with you against your wishes?
Have professionals involved in your case (mediators, lawyers, judges) suggested you should just "get along" despite past abuse?
Do you feel emotionally drained after court appearances or legal interactions?
Scoring Your Assessment:
0-5 "Yes" answers: You may be experiencing normal legal challenges, but there are few signs of systematic legal abuse.
6-10 "Yes" answers: There are concerning patterns that suggest legal tactics may be being used against you. Consider documenting these issues and seeking specialised legal advice.
11-15 "Yes" answers: You are likely experiencing moderate to significant legal abuse. It's important to work with a lawyer who understands domestic violence dynamics and to gather documentation of these patterns.
16-20 "Yes" answers: You appear to be experiencing severe legal abuse. This is a continuation of abuse through the legal system and requires immediate specialised support from both legal and mental health professionals who understand this dynamic.
What To Do Next:
If your answers indicate you may be experiencing legal abuse, consider these steps:
Start documenting everything related to your legal case and interactions with the other party.
Seek legal representation that specialises in domestic violence cases (not just family law).
Connect with domestic violence support services in your area for additional resources.
Consider counseling with a therapist who understands trauma and legal abuse.
Practice self-care - legal abuse is emotionally draining and requires intentional restoration.
Remember: Legal abuse is a method of control, not a reflection of your worth or capabilities. You deserve support and protection.
Disclaimer: This assessment is for informational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional legal or mental health advice. If you are in immediate danger, please contact emergency services or your local domestic violence hotline.
Stop Referring to Legal Abuse as "A High Conflict Divorce"
The term “high conflict divorce” is problematic because it:
Implies equal responsibility when there's actually an abuser and a victim
Minimises the intentional nature of the abuser's actions
This leads to harmful court decisions like forced co-parenting with an abuser
Obscures the power imbalance at play
When one party uses the legal system to control and harass their former partner, it's not conflict; it's abuse.
Educating the Legal System and Law Enforcement
The legal system often misses legal abuse because:
Training gaps - Many professionals still view domestic violence primarily as physical
Evidence requirements - Courts often demand physical evidence and overlook emotional harm
Misunderstanding trauma responses - Victims may appear angry or confused, which can be misinterpreted
Co-parenting emphasis - Family courts push for shared custody even in abusive situations
What needs to change:
Impose sanctions on frivolous legal claims
Limit repeated filings on the same issues
Grant sole custody when children are used as leverage
Improve access to legal aid for victims
Train judges and lawyers to recognise abuse tactics
Final Thoughts
Legal abuse is an uphill battle, but you are not powerless. With the right support and advocacy, you can protect yourself and move forward.
Your journey matters and healing takes time. Be patient with yourself and prioritise your mental health. Every step you take brings you closer to freedom and rebuilding your life on your own terms.
About the Author:
I'm Kat, a registered counsellor dedicated to helping women navigate the emotional and psychological challenges that arise from trauma, including experiences of domestic and sexual violence, childhood trauma, and feelings of grief and loss. I also focus on helping people reclaim their sense of identity after such experiences. You can find me in South East Melbourne.
Book a session with me:
email at kat@safespacecounsellingservices.com.au
or call me: 0452 070 738
