Memory and Trauma: Understanding the Connection
Welcome! I’m so glad you’re here. As a trauma therapist, I’ve had the honour of supporting survivors of domestic and sexual violence as they work toward healing. One topic that often comes up in our conversations is the complex relationship between trauma and memory. It can feel overwhelming and confusing, but I’m here to help shed some light on this connection and offer insights that might make it easier to understand.
The Nature of Trauma and Memory
Before we get to the nitty-gritty, let me first outline briefly what we mean by "trauma." Trauma refers to how we react psychologically to deeply upsetting or shocking experiences. For my clients, these experiences can range from emotional manipulation to physical abuse. Trauma doesn’t just affect how we feel; it can also have a profound impact on how our minds process and store memories.
You might wonder why this happens. During a traumatic event, our brain is flooded with stress hormones like adrenaline and cortisol. These hormones, while helpful in the moment, can disrupt our ability to form and store memories. It’s a bit like watching a movie with constant static - it becomes hard to see the full picture clearly, and the memory may feel fragmented or unclear.
Types of Memory Affected by Trauma
There are a couple of key types of memory that often take a hit after experiencing trauma:
Explicit Memory
It's the part of your memory that enables you to consciously remember facts and experiences. For example, if I asked you to describe your last birthday party, you would probably remember who was there, what you did, and what gifts you might have received. However, people who have experienced trauma cannot always recall explicit information about some events, particularly those related to their traumas.
Implicit Memory
This would include all those memories that we do not consciously remember but that nevertheless influence our behaviours and feelings. For example, you may hear a particular song that triggers anxiety, even though you can't remember why. This is because of some unconscious associations the brain makes during a specific traumatic event.
1. The amygdala plays a key role in emotions such as fear and anger. It reacts quickly to potential threats, often before we are fully aware of them. This is why we can feel scared or angry without understanding the reason right away.
2. The hippocampus is important for storing memories, especially personal ones known as episodic memories. It links emotions to these memories, so when we remember something, we often experience feelings like happiness or sadness related to it.
3. The hypothalamus manages how our body reacts to emotions. When we feel excited or frightened, our body may change things like heart rate, and the hypothalamus helps return it to normal once the emotion fades.
4. The cerebral cortex is the brain area that allows us to think about our emotions. Different regions of the cortex activate based on the emotion we are experiencing, helping us to process and understand those feelings.
Real-Life Examples
Let me tell you about Sarah (not her real name), who came to see me after leaving a long-term abusive relationship. Sarah experienced emotional and physical abuse. Early on in our therapeutic relationship, she confided that she struggles with memory issues, which confused her greatly. She even thought she might be going crazy!
Memory Lapses
In our early sessions, Sarah talked about how she doesn’t remember specific examples of her abuse. She asked me: "Why can’t I remember so many things? It feels like I am missing whole chunks of my life”. As we explored this further, it became clear that this is a protection mechanism used by her mind. This is how her brain worked its magic; it obscured the traumatic memories as a way of protecting her from further emotional pain.
This is called dissociative amnesia, a phenomenon in which some people temporarily forget traumatic events as a form of protection. It is a safety mechanism that kicks in when things become too overwhelming.
Sarah’s Everyday Challenges
Another aspect of Sarah's life that was heavily impacted was her memory in everyday situations. There were moments when she would find herself staring blankly at her screen. Appointments would slip her mind, leaving her frustrated and anxious. For example, she recalled completely forgetting about a doctor's appointment. “I felt so embarrassed. It’s not like I don’t care about my health, but the sheer weight of what happened to me makes it hard to focus on today”, she said.
Reliving Being Controlled
In our therapy sessions, we spoke about how the emotional residue of her traumatic experiences often led her to feel disoriented in the present. When stressors arose, even something as simple as a reminder of her past relationship, it was as if she were yanked back into those fear-filled moments. These triggers made it hard for her to concentrate and stay present, almost as if her brain was trying to shield her from additional hurt but ended up causing her confusion instead.
Finding Grounding Techniques
To help Sarah cope, we started developing specific strategies. Journaling became particularly significant for her. She began to jot down what happened during her day and her feelings and thoughts surrounding those events. After a while, she noticed that writing became a sort of tether, connecting her to the present and providing clarity. Gradually, she began to differentiate between her past experiences and her current reality, reinforcing the understanding that she is no longer in those scenarios.
The Intrusiveness of Flashbacks
Another way trauma affects memory is through flashbacks. Flashbacks are intense, uncontrollable memories that can feel very real, and they’re often triggered by specific sights, sounds, or situations.
James' Experience
James's story is an emotional testament to how trauma can hijack one's mind and memories. A survivor of sexual violence, he faced challenges that were often unexpected and deeply distressing.
A Vicious Cycle
When we first began our sessions, James spoke about flashbacks that would ambush him unexpectedly. The most prominent involved a scent - that lingering smell of cologne that would cling to the air, triggering painful memories. One day, while walking through a shopping centre, he caught a whiff of that scent. Instantly, he was thrown into a vivid flashback of the traumatic experience, feeling panic wash over him as if he were reliving the experience all over again.
James described it as a suffocating sensation: “It felt like being pulled under water. I couldn’t breathe, and I felt the fear wrapping around me again,” he explained. While in this altered state, he would find himself sweating, his heart racing, and often feeling helpless and detached from his surroundings. He was reliving the event in real-time. He said he felt sick, literally sick. He felt like he was going to vomit and couldn’t figure out why.
Impact on Daily Life
These flashbacks impacted his daily life, preventing him from engaging fully in social situations. Even the simplest outings could turn into overwhelming ordeals. For instance, James recounted how he was at a barbecue with friends and the smell of grilled meats suddenly reminded him of a different, less pleasant kind of heat: the flashback struck again, sending him into a spiral of anxiety and withdrawal. This was highly distressing for him.
Connecting the Dots
As he talked about this kind of incident, he didn’t initially make the connection to his past.
In our sessions, we worked on addressing these distressing moments by identifying triggers and developing coping mechanisms. One effective approach was grounding techniques. We practised exercises focusing on the here and now. For example, I encouraged him to engage his senses - feeling the texture of a chair, hearing the sounds around him, or taking deep breaths to recentre himself. Gradually, he began to regain a sense of control over these experiences.
Discussing his feelings about the flashbacks became pivotal. Understanding that these memories were a part of his past but didn’t define him helped James reclaim ownership of his life. We also used techniques like visualisation, where he would envision a safe place - a comforting memory or a serene environment - to retreat to in his mind whenever a flashback began.
Understanding Triggers
As we know from James's experience, the smell can be a potent trigger for memories, especially for those who have experienced trauma. Our sense of smell is intricately linked to the limbic system, the brain's emotional centre. This means that specific scents can evoke intense emotional responses and vivid memories, often more so than other senses.
A Personal Connection to Smell
For James, the cologne that triggered his flashbacks wasn't just a smell; it held the memories of a traumatic event, flooding his mind with emotions and sensations associated with that experience. This connection often catches survivors off guard. For example, a person might encounter the scent of a certain type of shampoo and suddenly be reminded of memories tied to their trauma.
I have worked with other clients who described similar experiences. One client, Angie, would feel anxious when she smelled fresh-cut grass. The smell transported her back to a summer when she faced a traumatic event, creating a vivid image of that day and distressing her.
Other Triggers
Smells can be powerful memory triggers, but other everyday things can bring up strong emotions. Understanding these triggers can help you manage your reactions and feel more in control. Here are some common triggers I've encountered in my practice:
Sounds. Everyday sounds can spark memories tied to trauma. For instance, the sound of a door slamming might make someone flinch if they associate it with a violent outburst experienced in the past. Similarly, a raised voice may trigger anxiety, signalling to someone that they need to prepare themselves for a fight.
Visual Cues. Specific sights can send a trauma survivor back to distressing moments. A simple phrase could build layers of emotion. For example, seeing a certain style of car might remind someone of their abuser, leading to feelings of panic or unease. Colours, clothing styles, and even particular brands can also evoke strong memories.
Places. Certain spaces can carry strong memories, both good and bad. For example, someone might feel anxious about returning to work if they’ve experienced harassment or bullying there. Even a favourite park could bring up mixed emotions, reminding them of both happy moments and past trauma.
Touch can trigger powerful memories and emotions. For instance, the feel of a fabric might remind someone of a comforting hug, while a certain texture could trigger painful memories of trauma.
Food and Taste. Food is deeply linked to our memories. A dish might remind someone of a family gathering, bringing feelings of joy and comfort. Yet, for others, a family meal might remind them of distressing situations, such as being forced to eat something against their will.
Triggers and Memory
Understanding how these triggers link to memory involves recognising that our brains constantly form associations. Triggers connect to memory because our brains naturally form connections. When we go through something traumatic, the brain remembers not just the event but also the details around it, like sounds, smells, or sights.
For example, the smell of fresh laundry might bring comfort if it’s linked to positive memories, like feeling safe at home. On the other hand, the same smell could evoke distress if it’s tied to a traumatic experience, such as a memory of being forced to do household chores in an abusive environment.
Triggers can show up in many forms such as smell, taste, sight, sound. Recognising them is key to understanding our reactions.
The Impact on Daily Life
The impact of trauma on memory can affect daily life, not just the ability to remember past events. For many survivors, it affects their relationships, their work and even their daily routines.
Take Sarah, for example. After many years in an abusive relationship, she has made incredible progress since the breakup. However, she still struggles with memory problems, for example forgetting appointments or losing her train of thought during a conversation. We investigated this and found that episodes of stress or reminders of her trauma were causing her to shut down, causing her to forget even the most mundane details. Because she was aware of this, she was able to develop strategies to help her deal with her memory problems.
Practical coping strategies
As a therapist, one of my goals is to help survivors develop coping mechanisms. Here are a few strategies that I might suggest to a client struggling with memory issues following trauma:
Journaling
Writing down thoughts and feelings can be a therapeutic way to process memories in a safe and controlled way. If you are struggling with memory problems after trauma or after leaving an abusive relationship, journaling can help piece together fragmented memories and track emotional changes over time.
Grounding techniques
Simple grounding techniques can help you stay present and calm, which is especially useful if you are trying to manage memory difficulties caused by trauma. Practices like deep breathing can reduce stress in the moment, making it easier for you to focus and regain a sense of clarity when memories feel fragmented or overwhelming.
Creating Routines
Establishing structured daily routines can help; routine creates a sense of predictability. This consistency can be incredibly helpful if you are experiencing memory lapses.
Support Systems
Building connections with supportive friends or family can be a great way to get help with remembering appointments and processing memories in a safe, understanding space. Joining therapy or support groups can also reduce feelings of isolation and provide encouragement from others who share similar experiences.
Conclusion
Remember, fragmented memories are a protective mechanism, not a personal flaw, and healing takes time. Be patient with yourself, acknowledge your feelings and know that healing takes time.
I hope these insights help you better understand how trauma and memory are connected. For those who are struggling with this, know that you are not alone. Although the road may be difficult, there are ways to overcome the challenges of trauma.
If you have any questions or would like to share your experiences, please feel free to reach out. Let’s continue to support each other as we heal and reclaim our lives and memories.
Take care of yourself.
If you would like to talk to me about your experience, please contact me at:
📞 Phone: 0452 285 526
