Gen Z Slang Terms For Love And Romance
Keeping up with modern dating slang is essential for casual dating. It can feel awkward when you're unfamiliar with the language your date uses, but it's natural to want to bridge this gap. Check out the essential dating jargon you should be familiar with if you're re-entering the world of dating.
Affordating
When you go on a date but you don't have the budget for something expensive. It is a budget-friendly way of dating in which you choose low-cost dating activities and split the expenses equally.
Beige Flags
Beige flags are early warning signs of incompatibility and are often found in people who are quite basic and boring.
Benching
Benching is like keeping someone on the back burner while exploring other options. It involves giving the person occasional attention to keep them interested, serving as a backup plan. This behaviour can be hurtful, and often the person doing it may not even be aware of the impact it has on others until they experience it themselves.
Breadcrumbing
When someone consistently checks in with their romantic prospect, dangling the possibility of a date and keeping them interested, but never following through with a relationship.
Staying in touch enough to keep them interested, but not quite enough to really connect. Maybe they just don't want to get too attached, or they're just naturally flirty and not looking for anything serious.
Cobwebbing
Getting rid of reminders of a past relationship, similar to clearing out cobwebs in your home. Eliminating objects (old sweaters, messages or photos) associated with the old relationship in order to focus on the present and move forward in your life with a clean slate.
Cookie-jarring
Looking for a relationship with another person as a backup option, similar to how you might grab a cookie for a quick treat. A person might engage in cookie-jarring if the person they truly want is unavailable or has turned them down.
Cuffle
A cuffle is a date focused solely on cuddling, with no anticipation of sexual intimacy.
Cuffle offers a cosy and enjoyable way to date. During a cuddle date, simply snuggle up with your partner or potential partner and spend time chatting, watching movies, or sharing funny memes on your phones.
Cuffing
Derived from the term "handcuffed," being cuffed refers to being tied down to one partner, typically during the colder months, known as cuffing season. Being cuffed can also indicate being in a committed relationship outside of this season, akin to a form of dating hibernation.
Cushioning
Before breaking up with someone, you make plans with a new person to avoid the negative emotions that come with a breakup. This involves having multiple backup relationships (safety cushions) in case the main one doesn't last.
Cyberflashing
Sending unwanted sexual images to someone through digital platforms like dating apps, social media, text messages, or file-sharing services such as Airdrop.
Daterview
A date that resembles an interview due to the lack of natural conversation flow, with one person consistently asking questions. Daterview is a combination of "date" and "interview" - essentially, it's like a job interview where someone is trying to persuade you to go on a date with them.
Dip/ dipping/ dipped
To leave especially suddenly or prematurely.
“I didn't know anyone at the party so I dipped”.
Dry Dating
The movement towards dating sober, or ’dry dating', has been gaining a lot of momentum. While alcohol is often used as a tool to help us feel more at ease and reduce inhibitions, some argue that it is not essential to have it present when getting to know someone.
DTR (Define The Relationship)
A DTR conversation, short for "define the relationship," is a crucial moment in a relationship where you clarify the nature of your connection. This involves discussing whether you are in a casual relationship, friends with benefits, or if both parties are interested in a committed and serious partnership. The timing of this conversation is key, as bringing it up too early may scare the other person off while waiting too long can lead to misunderstandings where both partners have different expectations.
Eclipsing
Have you ever experienced a situation where a friend suddenly becomes interested in all the same hobbies, passions, and interests as their new partner? This behaviour is referred to as eclipsing. It is when someone completely changes their own interests and even personality traits to align with those of their crush. It could involve picking up a new sport they previously had no interest in or diving into a completely different social scene.
Eco-dumping
It involves ending a date because of someone's lack of commitment to the environmental cause, for example, when your views on climate change and the environment don't align.
ENM (Ethical Non-Monogamy)
Ethical non-monogamy involves having relationships with multiple individuals who are all aware of and agree to the arrangement.
ENM encompasses various relationship styles such as polyamory, open relationships, or swinging, with the key principle being that all parties involved are aware and consenting to non-exclusivity. Unlike polygamous relationships, ENM does not necessarily involve all partners dating each other but rather focuses on mutual agreement and understanding among individuals in the relationship.
Fizzling
Fizzling occurs when someone gradually loses interest in another person, in contrast to ghosting, where they suddenly disappear. This process involves responding less often and with shorter messages, leading to a gradual fading of communication.
Flags
Green flags are positive, compatible traits that a person possesses. Red flags are negative, potentially harmful traits. A person displaying beige flags is not necessarily good or bad. They are just dull, boring and lack effort in dating.
Freckling
Freckling refers to casually starting a relationship with someone during the relaxed, warm days and evenings of summer, only to end it when autumn arrives, people start wearing warmer clothes again, and freckles fade away. Freckling is the opposite of the term cuffing.
Friendtroduction
When you are introduced to your new partner's friends or when you request your friends to introduce you to their single friends for the potential of socializing or forming a romantic connection.
Frugal Flirting
Like affordating, frugal flirting is about dating within your means.
Gambitting
A gambitter may meticulously plan aspects of their date, such as keeping the conversation light, selecting a vibrant yet not overly loud venue, and arranging follow-up plans in advance, all to create an ideal evening. Or they might focus on the quality of their dates, viewing relationships as a way to progress towards finding more suitable partners in the future (weekend updating). Like chess players, they carefully strategize their interactions to win at dating.
Gaslighting
Gaslighting is a manipulative tactic used to make someone question their own thoughts, memories, and perceptions. This can lead to a power imbalance in a relationship through methods like lying, denial, and minimizing the other person's feelings. Gaslighting involves distorting reality to gain control and is considered a form of psychological abuse.
Ghosting
Ghosting is the act of suddenly cutting off all communication with someone you are dating, in a relationship with, or have connected with online without any explanation or warning. This behaviour can be dehumanizing and often leads individuals to question their self-worth and value. It can trigger feelings of abandonment when someone abruptly stops all contact without saying goodbye.
Green dating
Green dating involves selecting a partner based on mutual values, specifically focusing on environmental concerns.
Groundhogging
Groundhogging is when someone consistently chooses the same type of romantic partners but hopes for a better outcome. They are attracted to individuals who fit their ideal type, date them, but end up feeling disappointed or encountering the same issues. When things go wrong, they return to dating apps, swiping through familiar profiles, and the cycle continues. The term "groundhogging" is inspired by the movie "Groundhog Day".
Haunting
Have you ever caught yourself constantly skimming through your ex's social media updates or pictures without interacting with them? This pattern of behaviour is known as “haunting” Haunting combines aspects of ghosting and zombieing, where the person who ghosted you continues to monitor your social media presence despite ceasing direct communication.
For instance, they may stop responding to your messages but still watch your stories or occasionally engage with your posts.
To openly and directly announce your new relationship on social media.
Kittenfishing
Kitten fishing is similar to catfishing, but instead of creating a completely false identity, it involves stretching the truth about oneself in a way that seems believable. For example, someone might slightly alter their physical appearance details, such as height or eye colour, to appear more attractive.
Left on Read
Have you ever sent a message and realized that your date or partner read it but didn't respond? This is referred to as being "left on read."
Love Bombing
Engaging in excessive gestures of affection and frequent communication with a new romantic partner, while simultaneously isolating them from their social circle and family to assert control in the relationship. Love bombing is a strategy often employed in abusive relationships, where the individual using this tactic might mislead or hide parts of themselves to lure the other person into a relationship.
Love Haze
The love haze is a feeling of blindness that one may have due to feelings of love toward another person. In essence, wearing rose-coloured glasses is another way of describing love haze. You can clear a love haze by getting perspective from your friend, and you'll be able to see if something is out of line.
Microcheating
Microcheating involves secrecy, emotional affairs and heavy flirtation. It doesn't breach physical boundaries, but it would hurt their partner if they knew.
Microcheating may seem harmless but it can easily progress into a full affair.
Negging
If someone's giving you a seemingly positive compliment, but it's got a negative undertone, which is known as a backhanded compliment. Example: "I really like your makeup tonight, it's as if you don't put any effort into it” or “You look great for someone of your size".
Next on deck
The expression “next on deck” is used to express a backup plan, or the next person in line for when you date.
Orbiting
If someone has stopped communicating with you or has made it clear that they are not interested in being in a relationship with you, but they still engage with you on social media by viewing and liking your posts.
It could also mean monitoring potential romantic partners on social media without initiating contact.
OTP (One True Pairing)
“One true pairing” means a dream couple.
Phubbing or Phonewalling
Using your phone to snub someone, particularly when you are in an intimate setting. Engaging in phubbing, or phone-based snubbing, has become increasingly common. We've all experienced those moments when someone we're with pulls out their phone during a meal or a conversation and becomes absorbed in it. It's not just rude; it's a direct blow to the intimacy of the moment.
One of the most exasperating scenarios is being on a date with someone who's glued to their phone the whole time. This disrespectful and bothersome behaviour now has a coined term: phubbing.
Pocketing
“Where is this relationship headed?” is a common question we ask when we have been dating for a while but haven't been introduced to the parents or friends of our partner. This behaviour is known as “pocketing” or “stashing” and it's a toxic practice.
It involves keeping your partner hidden from your social circle, both in real life and on social media. This can be a red flag.
This behaviour often happens at the start of a relationship and may stem from a fear of commitment. It's important to have an open conversation about it before it becomes a source of hurt or misunderstanding.
Rizz
This is an abbreviation for “charisma” and has gained significant traction on TikTok. It refers to a person’s skill in charming and drawing the attention of a potential love interest. This may stem from possessing an engaging personality or having an irresistible allure. Initially, rizz referred to the ability to attract someone who wasn’t initially into you.
Roaching
If you spot one cockroach, chances are there are many more unseen. The concept of “roaching” in online dating reflects this idea. It describes individuals who disrespectfully pursue a new relationship while secretly remaining involved with others. When confronted, these “roaches” deny any responsibility by asserting they were unaware of the expectation of monogamy.
Sapiosexual
A sapiosexual is an individual who is drawn to intelligence. This means they prioritise intelligence over other qualities when it comes to attraction.
It’s a person, often a man, who throws money or attention at someone else, often a woman, to win their affection. It doesn’t work.
Situationship
In a situationship, the romantic or sexual relationship is ambiguous, with both parties failing to establish clear communication about their status. Unlike a “friends with benefits” arrangement, the individuals involved in a situationship remain uncertain about each other's role. This lack of clarity can lead to confusion and an absence of the stability and support found in well-defined relationships.
Slow Fade
Comparable to ghosting, the term “slow fading” describes a situation where an individual gradually reduces their connection and availability in a relationship. Instead of openly expressing their feelings, they gradually withdraw, become less accessible, and stop any communication with you.
Sneaky link
Meeting a person regularly to have sex with them without anyone knowing about it.
Sober dating/ dry dating
Dating without the influence of substances, dry dating is gaining popularity as a way for singles to establish meaningful connections. Unlike sobriety, which is crucial for individuals dealing with substance issues, sober dating focuses on creating a deliberate and present environment for building romantic relationships.
This approach allows the prioritisation of genuine human connection and remaining fully engaged during dates, fostering a sense of safety and clarity without the influence of alcohol.
Soft Ghosting
Soft ghosting and the slow fade both describe a situation where a partner gradually becomes less available and communicative, ultimately disappearing from the relationship.
Soft-Launching
Soft launching refers to the subtle introduction of a new romantic partner on social media without revealing their identity. It involves strategically sharing photos that hint at the existence of a relationship, such as a second dinner plate or footprints in the sand, without explicitly acknowledging the partner. This method allows people to cautiously unveil their relationship over time, maintaining their partner's privacy while gradually integrating them into their online presence.
Stashing
Stashing is a dating phenomenon where one person keeps their romantic partner hidden from their social circle and does not acknowledge the relationship on social media. This behaviour is commonly associated with emotional unavailability or a reluctance to commit.
Stealthing
Removing a condom without consent during sexual activity is classified as a type of sexual assault.
Submarining
Submarining, also known as 'paperclipping,' occurs when someone who previously ignored you suddenly resurfaces without acknowledging their prior disappearance. They often act as if nothing happened, showing no remorse for their absence, and may even attempt to reconnect as if they never distanced themselves from you initially.
Tase
Tase is a combination of the words “talking” and “phase,” meaning the initial phrase of the relationship when everything looks bright and cool.
Textlationship
A textlationship occurs when two individuals share a deep connection and chemistry through text and messaging, yet this bond doesn't extend to real-life interactions. You might find fulfillment in engaging in numerous text conversations daily. Despite your efforts to initiate phone calls, they consistently prefer texting as their primary mode of communication. When you suggest meeting in person, they express interest but repeatedly evade making definite plans. Their vague responses like “maybe” or “perhaps” leave you uncertain about their genuine interest in meeting face-to-face.
Text black hole
Sending messages back and forth endlessly but never arranging an in-person meeting. It's perfect if you want a pen pal, but not so great if you're looking to meet in real life.
Whelming
The term describes the behaviour of people who, when communicating with you on a dating app, make a point of complaining about the abundance of matches they have or casually dropping comments about how frequently they are approached at bars. This behaviour is essentially a way for them to boast about their popularity and desirability.
Wokefishing
Wokefishing is a deceptive practice wherein a person portrays themselves as more progressive and open-minded than they truly are, often in the realm of their political beliefs. It might involve feigning active engagement in addressing social injustices, despite lacking genuine concern for the cause.
Zootie call
A situation where someone contacts you for a late-night hook-up via video call.
Zombie-ing
When a person who previously disappeared without explanation suddenly reappears. These individuals try to re-enter your life as if nothing happened, without acknowledging their previous absence.
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