Navigating the Journey: Insights from Gisèle Pelicot’s Stand Against Abuse
As a therapist who works closely with women who have experienced abuse, I’ve seen first-hand how sexual violence leaves scars - emotional, psychological, and physical - that last a lifetime. These effects don't discriminate by age. Both young girls and older women can carry the weight of their trauma for decades. Yet, one group of survivors is often overlooked in these conversations: women in the later stages of life.
The recent case of 71-year-old Gisèle Pelicot in France has illuminated the harsh reality of abuse faced by older women. Her story, heart-wrenching and inspiring in equal measure, is not just a personal fight for justice but a rallying cry for change. Gisèle decided to waive her anonymity, ensuring her voice, and countless others, was heard. Her bravery in seeking public recognition has become a beacon of hope for women who have suffered in silence, often ignored or forgotten.
How can an idyllic town in Provence like this serve as the backdrop to unspeakable evil?
The Case That Shook the World
For over 20 years, Gisèle Pelicot endured unimaginable abuse at the hands of her husband, a man she trusted with her life. He systematically drugged her with sedatives, disguised as caring gestures, and used her incapacitation to exploit her. But the abuse didn’t stop there. He invited more than 50 other men to take part in her exploitation. While many have been charged, there may be others whose crimes remain hidden.
This betrayal, compounded by the involvement of others, makes Gisèle’s trauma all the more profound. It’s a level of systematic abuse that highlights not only the cruelty of the perpetrators but also the societal blind spots that allow such atrocities to persist. Gisèle’s decision to break her silence, at great personal cost, has ignited an important conversation about sexual violence against older women, a topic too often dismissed or ignored.
As someone who has worked for years in the field of sexual and domestic abuse, I know how deeply ingrained ageism and victim-blaming can be in our systems and society. Gisèle’s case forces us to confront these prejudices. Her story shines a harsh light on the reality of chemical-assisted sexual abuse, a crime that strips victims of their agency and leaves them questioning their own realities.
The Struggles of Women Survivors
In my work with survivors, I’ve seen how abuse doesn’t end with age - it evolves, often deepening its impact over time. For older women, the trauma of sexual violence can be compounded by decades of gendered silencing. They are often told, explicitly or implicitly, that their stories are insignificant, that they are "too old" to be victims, or that their suffering isn’t worth addressing. This brutal reality leaves many older survivors carrying the weight of both their assault and society’s denial of their pain.
As Gisèle Pelicot’s case demonstrates, sexual violence is blind to age. Women in their 50s, 60s, and beyond are just as vulnerable to manipulation, exploitation, and violence as younger women. Yet societal assumptions about aging women perpetuate a dangerous myth: that they are immune to such harm. This belief not only invalidates their experiences but also allows abuse to persist in the shadows. Pelicot’s case starkly highlights how society - and the systems meant to protect these women - often fails them.
What makes Pelicot’s story particularly harrowing is the profound betrayal she endured. Her husband, the person she trusted most, was her abuser. This betrayal adds an excruciating layer of trauma, one that is common among survivors who have been harmed by loved ones. For Pelicot, the realisation that her husband had violated her trust for years must have been an unbearable emotional burden. Worse still, knowing that other perpetrators, perhaps people she passed in her community or saw in her daily life, were complicit only deepens the horror.
The full extent of her husband’s crimes only came to light by chance, when he was reported for upskirting - secretly taking inappropriate photographs of women in public. This discovery led to investigations that uncovered the horrific abuse Pelicot had endured for decades. The accidental nature of this revelation underscores how easily such crimes can remain hidden and how often victims suffer in silence without intervention.
The abuse Pelicot faced was further compounded by her husband’s use of chemical manipulation. By drugging her, he robbed her of the ability to recognise or resist the abuse as it occurred. For years, she believed she might be battling a degenerative illness, such as Alzheimer’s, when in reality, her husband was systematically poisoning her. This level of deception not only obscures the abuse but also erodes the victim’s sense of reality, making it even harder to seek help. The emotional strain Pelicot must have felt upon uncovering the truth is almost unimaginable.
For survivors like Pelicot, the betrayal, manipulation, and exploitation they endure create profound isolation. The psychological toll of such prolonged trauma makes healing an incredibly challenging journey. When the perpetrator is someone who was supposed to be a source of love and protection, the path to recovery becomes even more complex.
Gisèle Pelicot’s Decision to Waive Anonymity
The decision to forgo anonymity in a case of sexual abuse is never an easy one. For many survivors, the prospect of their names and experiences being made public is something that is laden with fear and anxiety. It can seem like an extra violation, requiring them to relive the trauma in the unforgiving glare of public scrutiny. Indeed, Gisèle Pelicot made that choice, for herself and for every survivor who felt their voice silenced by shame, fear, or disbelief.
By demanding that her case be heard in open court, Pelicot removed the focus from where it doesn’t belong: the victim and placed it where it does: on the perpetrators of violence. This is a very important step in changing the societal narrative on sexual abuse. As a therapist, I regularly witness the insidious effects of victim-blaming, in which survivors take on some of the responsibility for the abuse they experienced. As a society, we must shift that sense of shame and hold responsible those who perpetrate the crime. Pelicot’s actions defy this dangerous and damaging norm and allow survivors, especially older women, to reclaim their stories and seek justice.
As Pelicot stated after the trial verdict: “It's with profound emotion that I speak today before you. This trial was a very difficult ordeal and, in this moment, I am primarily thinking about my three children, David, Caroline, and Florian. I am also thinking about my grandchildren, because they are the future and it is also for them that I led this fight.”
These words reflect the personal weight of her fight and the deep love she has for her family. Pelicot’s commitment to justice is not only for herself but for future generations. Her fight was not just for her own healing, but for the safety and dignity of her children and grandchildren - an act of profound courage and foresight that underscores the importance of standing up against abuse for the sake of those who come after us.
Gisèle Pelicot's Aboriginal Scarf: A Symbol of Global Solidarity
Gisèle Pelicot's decision to wear an Aboriginal-designed scarf during her trial added a profound layer of symbolism to her courageous stand against abuse. The scarf, a gift from Australia's Older Women's Network, was designed by Martu artist Mulyatingki Marney. Her artwork depicts a cluster of saltwater pools in Western Australia's remote Pilbara region, known among the Martu people for their healing properties.
Beverly Baker, president of the Older Women's Network, explained that the scarf was intended as a gesture of solidarity, symbolising a "hug" from women across the world. She stated, "A scarf is like a hug... It's draped around your neck and it hangs close to your heart."
By wearing this scarf, Pelicot not only highlighted the global support she received but also connected her personal journey of healing with the resilience embodied in Marney's artwork. This act underscored the universal nature of her fight for justice and the shared strength among women worldwide.
The Impact on Survivors’ Mental Health
The damage caused by sexual abuse in the 20s, 30s, etc., is immeasurable. The burden of abuse is compounded for many survivors by the shame and stigma that accompany it. As they grow older, they may get a sense of invisibility, as if their experiences are no longer relevant. This can result in profound isolation and despair, as well as difficulties in accessing the support necessary for healing. Pelicot’s choice to share her story publicly is a request for better acknowledgment of the particular struggles of older survivors. It is a reminder that trauma does not just “go away” in time. Instead, it is a way of life that never goes away for a survivor, requiring engagement and compassion.
I frequently encounter older women who are finally beginning to deal with the trauma of sexual violence they suffered years or even decades earlier. The wounds of abuse can lie dormant for a lifetime just beneath the surface, waiting to be activated by a new event or life stage. This highlights the importance of tailoring therapeutic approaches to the individual needs of older survivors. The emotional and psychological lingering effects of abuse can impact everything from relationships to self-esteem to physical health. Recovery is long, and complex and requires compassion, validation, and most importantly, patience.
Pelicot’s refusal to take anti-anxiety medication speaks to the broader mental health challenges survivors face. Her decision reflects a loss of trust in systems meant to help her, and this is understandable. The betrayal she experienced from her husband, compounded by the violation she endured in her community, likely makes her distrustful of institutions and professionals. This is a reality many survivors face - where the lack of trust in others becomes a significant barrier to healing.
The Manipulation and Trauma
The level of manipulation Gisèle endured is almost incomprehensible. Dominique drugged her with sedatives hidden in raspberry ice cream—a gesture she initially believed was an act of love. This calculated act of betrayal exemplifies the cunning and cruelty of her abuser. The trauma she has experienced is profound and it underscores the importance of consent, awareness, and justice in cases of abuse.
Bearing Witness to History
This case is not just about Gisèle Pelicot; it is about all women who refuse to be silenced or shamed. Her courage in confronting such harrowing abuse publicly sets a powerful example. By taking this stand, Gisèle compels society to look critically at how abuse is perpetuated and how survivors can be supported.
We are bearing witness to history—a victim refusing to be ashamed, a survivor speaking not just for herself but for countless others. Pelicot’s courage resonates with women everywhere, serving as both an inspiration and a call to action.
Breaking the Silence
By speaking out, Gisèle Pelicot has forced society to confront uncomfortable truths about the abuse of older women. Her fight for justice is not only for herself but for the countless other survivors who have been silenced by fear, shame, or disbelief. Her actions remind us that sexual violence is a crime that knows no boundaries of age or circumstance.
Her story is a testament to courage, resilience, and the importance of standing up for what is right. It is a call to action for all of us to do better in supporting survivors and holding perpetrators accountable. As Gisèle has shown, the fight against abuse is a fight for dignity and justice for all women.
Breaking the Silence: Confronting Abuse of Older Women Worldwide
Gisèle Pelicot’s plight isn’t merely about her court victory; it’s a vehicle for a wider cultural change. Her case compels us to reflect deeply and take action to address systemic gaps in supporting survivors, especially older women. In my work, I have witnessed the healing power of such recognition for a survivor. When we, as a society, respect a person’s pain and acknowledge that their experience is real, it lays the groundwork for recovery and empowerment.
The legal system, as well, must evolve to account for the realities of abuse in later life. Pelicot’s case highlights how the justice system has typically been a pitfall for older women, and it advocates for reforms that guarantee older survivors the same respect, attention, and support given to their younger peers. This should include improved training for law enforcement, social services, and legal professionals on the unique dynamics of abuse in later life.
On a macro level, we need to examine whether our cultural narratives around aging are being challenged. Society has often overlooked this issue, as if older women essentially cease to exist or be relevant, but cases like Pelicot's are helping to bring it to light. Her choice to speak out challenges us to address ageism and demands that we provide spaces where older survivors can voice their experiences and receive support.
From Silence to Action: Supporting Older Women Against Abuse
Gisèle Pelicot’s courageousness has begun a conversation we desperately need about sexual violence against older women. But that's just the start. I am proud to be a therapist who works with older women because I believe that it is important for the rest of us to make sure this population is supported in terms of access to resources, legal advocacy, emotional, and social support to heal. Pelicot’s story should sound like a call to arms for us all to do better in supporting all survivors.
We must continue to break the silence around the abuse of older women. We must challenge the stigma and societal assumptions that silence victims and perpetuate cycles of abuse. And most importantly, we must stand with survivors like Gisèle Pelicot, who remind us that sexual violence is a crime that can - and must - be addressed at every stage of life. The shame belongs to the perpetrators, and it is time for all of us to hold them accountable.
As we move forward, we must work together to create a world where no woman, regardless of age, ever feels invisible or powerless in the face of abuse. Pelicot’s fight for justice, not just for herself, but for her children and grandchildren, echoes the importance of standing up for the dignity and rights of all women.
About Safe Space Counselling Services
At Safe Space Counselling Services, I focus on helping women who are dealing with the profound and often intricate effects of trauma, including past and ongoing abuse. Whether it's confronting the enduring consequences of domestic violence, emotional harm, sexual abuse or bad childhood experiences, my goal is to create a nurturing environment where you can feel acknowledged, listened to, and understood.
Recovering from abuse requires bravery, and you don’t have to face it alone. Together, we can explore the patterns formed by your experiences, work through the pain of the past, and restore your sense of self-worth. You deserve a life where your voice matters, your needs are fulfilled, and love - beginning with self-compassion - becomes a central part of your journey.
📧 Email: kat@safespacecounsellingservices.com.au
📞 Call or Text: 0452 285 526
Let’s take the first step toward healing and reclaiming your power, together. 💛
