Barbecues and Beach Days: Christmas for Expats in Australia

For many people living in other countries, the holiday season brings up different feelings. Christmas, in particular, is a poignant time - usually shared with family, filled with warmth, joy, and a sense of belonging. But when you’re an expat in Australia, far from your family of origin in places like the UK, Ireland, Germany, or Poland, Christmas can intensify feelings of longing for home.

Gone are the roaring fires, crisp winter mornings, and carol singing while breath puffs in frosty air. Instead, Christmas in Australia might bring sizzling barbecues, beach trips, and sunshine. For those raising children here, this contrast feels even sharper: how do you recreate the magic of your own childhood Christmases in a place that is so different? And how do you reconcile the sadness of being far from loved ones with the need to focus on the present and make new memories?

The Bittersweetness of a Different Christmas

Memories of bustling homes filled with relatives, the laughter of cousins, and the warm glow of the fireplace feel very far away when you're wearing sunhats and sipping cold drinks.

It is not just the traditions we miss, but the people we care about - the unexpected talks with a brother or sister while tidying up after dinner, the joyful laughter of your parents, and the boisterous noise of nieces and nephews playing around the house.

Christmas in your family has a unique rhythm that can't be replicated elsewhere. The familiar scent of your grandmother's home and the warm mince pies, the cherished carols your family loves to play, and the traditions passed down through generations create irreplaceable memories. The distance can feel immense when these sentiments are tied to special places and loved ones.

Video calls help to bridge the gap, but they can't replace the cosy feeling of being home for the holidays. Watching loved ones open gifts on a screen and raising a toast from afar feels bittersweet. While these virtual connections keep us close, they also underscore what we're missing.

Festive Christmas bells in Covent Garden bring a touch of holiday magic to the heart of London.

Christmas Lights: A Tale of Two Cities

One of the things I truly miss about Christmas in London is the breathtaking display of Christmas lights. For ten years, I made it a tradition to visit the Christmas at Kew Gardens light trail. Strolling through the glowing tunnels and admiring the shimmering trees, I felt as though I had stepped into a winter wonderland.

Nothing compares to the iconic lights on Regent Street and Oxford Street. Covent Garden dressed for Christmas is a joy to behold. These dazzling displays, with their twinkling angels and festive themes, bring a unique sparkle to the heart of the city.

Sydney has its own distinct allure and offers a unique magical charm. The Christmas lights at Martin Place and Pitt Street Mall transform the area into a festive wonderland filled with vibrant decorations, cheerful carol singers, and a lively atmosphere.

While the experiences differ, each holds its own unique beauty. Celebrating Christmas in Sydney, with its balmy nights and festive cheer, has taught me how cherished traditions can adapt and evolve in new, meaningful ways.

Blending Old and New Traditions or Overcoming Homesickness

Feeling sad and nostalgic during the holiday season is to be expected if you are living so far away from home, but how you embrace these emotions can greatly influence your happiness during the holidays. Rather than abandoning your past, it's about creating new traditions that reflect your unique journey and circumstances. Here are some ways to make peace with homesickness and celebrate a meaningful Christmas in your adopted home:

Acknowledge Your Emotions

Homesickness is a powerful feeling, and the more you ignore it, the stronger it gets. Allow yourself to grieve for what you are missing: family far away, traditions you can't recreate, the comfort of your childhood home. Share your feelings with a supportive friend or journal about them - expressing these emotions without judgment will help you find peace.

Sometimes, talking to a supportive friend or journaling isn't enough to process complex emotions like grief and homesickness. Mental health support, such as speaking to a counsellor, can provide additional tools and strategies to help you find peace and meaning during the holidays.

You might even find it helpful to talk about these things with your children, showing them it is okay to feel both happy and sad during the holidays. Naming and accepting your sadness without judgment will help you make peace with it.

Find Beauty in Contrast

While Australia's summer Christmas may be different from a snowy one, it offers its own magic. Instead of woolly jumpers, we put on breezy sundresses or shorts, and kids run on the hot sand barefoot, building sandcastles and snowmen. Enjoying Christmas lunch outside with a barbecue, where the aroma of cooking prawns blends with your family's laughter, brings a special kind of happiness.

So learn to appreciate the unexpected joys of an Australian Christmas: sunlight spilling through the windows on Christmas morning, cicadas providing the soundtrack to a starlit evening, or the freedom to take a refreshing swim after unwrapping presents. These contrasts may feel unfamiliar at first, but with time, they can become cherished parts of your family's story.

Make Meaningful Memories 

Incorporate elements that remind you of home into your new celebrations, such as traditional decorations, meals, or rituals. Prepare something that ties you to your roots, like a pot of spiced wine, a dish of pierogi, or Christmas pudding.  These moments don’t need to be elaborate; they are about bringing a sense of your history into the present. These small acts can help you stay connected to your heritage while you adjust to new surroundings.

Involve the Whole Family

Involve your partner and children in planning your new Christmas. Talk about what they miss from their old home, or what things they would enjoy doing, such as playing cricket in the garden,  baking cookies to deliver to your neighbours, or starting a nightly tradition of watching Christmas movies under the stars. This encourages a sense of ownership and excitement about the holiday.

Celebrate Flexibility

Embrace the opportunity to shed traditions you didn't enjoy and redefine what Christmas means for your family. Perhaps you never enjoyed the pressure of a formal Christmas dinner or the stress of hosting a big family gathering; maybe now you can redefine what Christmas looks like for your family. Choose what you will enjoy whether it is a laid-back picnic in the park or a quiet night in with board games and laughter.

Call home

Being away from home can get lonely, so make sure you set up a time to call family and friends on Christmas day. Use video calls or messaging apps to share moments like watching your nieces and nephews unwrap presents, checking out your holiday meals or catching up with grandparents, aunties and uncles. It will make you feel more involved in the celebrations taking place far away.

Giving Your Children the Magic of Christmas

One of the biggest joys of Christmas for parents is without a doubt experiencing this time of the year through their child's eyes. Though it might look very different from the holidays you had growing up, this is your chance to create a new kind of magic for your family.

Tell Stories About Your Childhood

Children love hearing about their parents' Christmas experiences: the snow, family traditions, special foods, and celebrations. Sharing these stories allows your children to connect with their heritage and feel part of a larger family narrative.

Blend Traditions

Combine old and new traditions to give your children the best of both worlds. If your childhood Christmases involved carol singing around the fire, organize a festive karaoke party on the patio. Prepare traditional dishes from your home country alongside Australian favourites like prawns or pavlova. Mixing your past with your present means your children get to experience the best of both worlds.

Focus on Togetherness

Creating meaningful moments with your children will leave lasting impressions beyond any material gifts. Prioritise connection over perfection by involving them in activities such as tree decorating, baking cookies, or playing family games. You're not erasing the past but building upon it, creating resilient, creative, and loving family memories.

Embrace New Connections

The feeling of isolation, especially on holidays, is one of the biggest challenges in the life of an expat. Finding or building a sense of community can make all the difference.

Host a "Friendsmas" Celebration

Bring together fellow expats or friends who are also far from family for a festive celebration. Encourage everyone to share dishes and traditions from their home country, creating a rich, multicultural experience. Not only is this a wonderful way to build new friendships, but it’s also an opportunity to honour your culture while learning about others.

Looking for like-minded expats to connect with? Check out local Meetup Groups for Expats or community events tailored to expats.

Volunteer

Sometimes, giving back to others can help fill the emotional void of missing family. Look for opportunities to volunteer during the holidays: serve meals to those in need, donate gifts, or visit nursing homes. Helping others can bring a sense of purpose and joy to your holiday season.

Have a look at Volunteering Australia or Christmas Charity Drives if you are interested.

Participate in Local Traditions

Embrace local holiday customs. Attend a Christmas Day barbecue, join Carols by Candlelight, or explore festive markets. Connecting with your adopted home's culture can strengthen your sense of belonging.

You can find details of your local events on Australia.com.

Practice Gratitude

Practising gratitude can completely change how you see things. It's normal to miss your old life, but recognising what you have now can make you happier in the present.

Take a moment to be grateful for the people who are by your side on this journey, whether it's your partner, children, or friends. Cherish the joy and support they bring to your life.

Soak in the beauty of your surroundings. Be thankful for the natural beauty around you – the warm sun, soothing ocean sounds, and vibrant wildlife.

Recognise your resilience. Give yourself some credit for creating a new life and embracing novel experiences. Be proud of your strength and determination, as it's not easy to start afresh. As you keep moving forward, consider how simply being thankful can have a big effect on your happiness and overall well-being.

Do something that reminds you of home

Christmas afternoon often involves indulging in a festive meal and watching some cheesy holiday movies. Why not keep that tradition alive in your new home? If turkey is your favourite festive dish, check your local supermarket for options. If turkey isn’t available, roasting a chicken and adding a local dish can give your holiday meal a fun twist. 

Do you love organising Secret Santa? Invite new friends or co-workers to join in, connecting your old and new relationships through this tradition.

While embracing local customs, it's also important to treasure the ones that are special to you. Combining your history with new experiences makes your holiday more meaningful. Create a cosy, festive atmosphere by setting up a backyard firepit or hanging fairy lights. This blend of old and new, mixed with the unique flavours of an Australian Christmas, will result in a celebration that feels both genuine and satisfying.

Final Thoughts: Building a Legacy

Although spending Christmas away from family can be difficult, focus on creating special memories that your children will cherish. These new experiences under the Australian sun are a testament to your resilience, creativity, and love for your family.

This Christmas, let the bittersweetness remind you of life's richness – the past you carry and the new traditions you're building. Both are worthy of celebration. Merry Christmas!

Rediscover the Joy of Christmas, Wherever You Are

Being an expat during the holidays can be tough, but you don't have to go through it by yourself. Whether you're feeling homesick, trying to create new traditions, or adapting to change, therapy can give you the help and tools you need to flourish. If you're ready to deal with your emotions, find purpose in the now, and build a happy future, I'm available to help you.

📧 kat@safespacecounsellingservices.com.au

📞 0452 285 526

Follow me on Instagram for more tips: @counselling.kat

Or you can access support at Services Australia which provides assistance for expats adapting to life in Australia.